Twilight: New Moon Panned By Critics


Twilight: New Moon is finally here, and so are the reviews. With a 30% favorable rating on, the critics are saying things that would make a vampire blush. Here’s a look at what some of the top critics had to say about the highly anticipated sequel staring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.


celeb-jihadPeter Travers – This is pure garbage. I work for Rolling Stone, so I know garbage.
celeb-jihadRoger Ebert – If watching this movie again would cure my cancers, I’d take my chances with the cancers.
celeb-jihadClaudia Puig – This film is a festering bowl of dog snot. Fuck this fucking shit.
celeb-jihadJames Berardinelli – Remember that story that was going around a few years back about how gay guys in New York were intentionally getting AIDS as a right of passage? Yeah, my cousin Leo started that rumor. Also, New Moon sucked.
celeb-jihadMichael Phillips – I liked this movie. Couple that with my beard, and there’s no way I should be allowed near a playground.
celeb-jihadRex Reed – The acting was horrible, but that wolf boy made my dick move for the first time in 13 years!
celeb-jihadLarry King – What was wrong with the old moon?

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